9 Phrases Smart People Never Use in Conversation

from the good men project - 

“You look tired.” - “Is everything okay?”

“Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!” - “You look fantastic.”

 “You were too good for her anyway.” - “Her loss!”

“You always …” or “You never …” - “It seems like you do this often.” or “You do this often enough for me to notice.” -

“You look great for your age.” - “You look great.”

“As I said before …” –

“Good luck.”- “I know you have what it takes.”

“It’s up to you.” or “Whatever you want.” - “I don’t have a strong opinion either way, but a couple things to consider are …” –

“Well at least I’ve never ___.” - “I’m sorry.”

Let it go...

Another interesting forwarded message. Not much clue about its origin.

My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth.
When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was?
Probably a hundred times a day.
Just because it was not hurting you doesn’t mean you did not notice it.
It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly.
It’s going to take a while, but it takes time.
Should you have kept the tooth?
No, because it was causing you so much pain.

Therefore, move on and let go.

three kinds of givers

there are three kinds of givers, people who helps others in some way or the others

1. the flint stones - people whose hearts are as hard as stone. they do help (give out spark, to light a fire) but you need to strike them real hard. you need to motivate them to a great extent to reach out to others and help

2. the sponge - people who are otherwise not willing to help but all it needs is a little gentle effort for them to yield. the way a sponge works, a little squeezing and it releases all the water it had absorbed.

3. honeycomb - the people who are more than willing to help others, the way honey oozes out of a honeycomb. involuntarily. 

Comes the Dawn by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.

a short love story

Him: Lets play "Riddle me this". I'll ask the questions and you answer.
Her: ummm..ok..lets try

Him: Riddle #1: What has roots as nobody sees,Is taller than trees, Up, up it goes,And yet never grows?
Her: Oh I know this one..its..its..a mountain

Him: Correct. Riddle #2: Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters.
Her: rain..but no..not wingless or toothless...tears..no....i got it..wind

Him: Correct again..smart girl. Riddle #3: It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes out first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.
Her: Hey...I see the patter now.. these are the Hobbit-Gollum riddles...
Him: Oh! you finally figured it out...but play along.. you'll love the twist at the end.
Her: The answer is darkness.

Him: Attagirl!! Right Answer. Riddle #4: Alive without breath, As cold as death; Never thirsty, ever drinking, All in mail never clinking.
Her: Oh I knew this one..what was it..what was it... fish..yes..fish it is.

Him: Lovely. Ok so Riddle #5: This thing all things devours; Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel;Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town, And beats mountain down.
Her: This is getting tough..how many more to go?
Him: Just a couple more, we are almost there...(give her a peck on her forehead) .So... the answer would be...
Her: wait...lemme try and remember this one.. it was...Time..yes Time it was.

Him: That's fabulous.. all correct answers. One last question. What have I got in my pocket
Her: Gollum could not answer this one.. it was The Ring

Him: Yeah but you guessed it and now its yours..(he goes down one one knee and presents her a ring) Will you marrry me?
Her: (She hugs him hard) you are my real 'My Precious'....

Commencement Lectures

was looking up for randy pausch's last lecture. 
was reviewing some thing i had written and came across the phrase 'playing the hand we have been dealt'. i remember picking up the phrase from that lecture. and youtube suggested me with many more such speeches. some which i had seen earlier, some new for me. 

here are a few of them.
the last lecture - randy pausch - 

stay hungry stay foolish - Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 - 

Jim Carrey's Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation - 

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement 2008 - 

Oprah Winfrey Commencement - Harvard University, 2013 - 

Ellen DeGeneres University Commencement Address 2009 - 

Bill and Melinda Gates' 2014 Stanford Commencement Address - 

Meryl Streep, Barnard Commencement Speaker 2010, Columbia University - 

marriage and swimming

the other day, i was having a desultory conversation with a friend. out of the blue she asked if i had learnt how to swim. i replied in negative, and added that would love to learn swimming some day.

then she joined the dots to a previous discussion about matrimony we had, earlier during the course of our conversation. somehow she felt that preparing your self mentally to get married was akin to that phase of learning how to swim, when you would would be left all alone at the 3 ft deep end of the pool, to learn swimming on your own.
- you feel all alone, even though u have people all around the pool.
- it feels like you are going to drown for sure, even though the pool is barely 3 feet deep. our fears and apprehension about not being able to assimilate the changes of married life and surmount the hope of succeeding at it.

i appreciated her for her close observation skills. the situations did seem fairly analogous.

later on, when i was thinking about it, i thought, may be the solution to the situation was present in the situation itself. #ThatWasMeta
- you are not alone, your spouse is the coach standing at the edge of the pool; motivating you, cheering you, ready to jump in and help if at all things go out of hand.
- you are not going to drown. just keep you cool and think. the pool is barely 3 feet deep and you just need to stand on you feet to save your self. simple fact that several issues we face in our relationships can be sorted out easily if we sit down and talk & listen in equal measures. talk it out with your spouse or maybe family or maybe good friends if you think the situation is beyond you. the bottomline is - don't panic #HHGG

not meaning to say that this is a sure fix for all problems. but yes we can succeed if we try; if we seek, we shall find.