Flowers and thorns

This anecdote was shared by our parish priest and I just loved it.

Once a king beckoned two of his ministers. He asked one of them to get samples of all possible kinds of flowers that grew in his kingdom. He asked the second minister to get all possible samples of thorns that could be found in the kingdom. And both of them had a week's time to do so. The ministers set off for the task assigned pronto.

For the next one week, all the first minister could see was flowers... Beautiful flowers in a wide pallet of colours. He was overjoyed to see so many beautiful flowers all in the same kingdom. He thought of organizing an exhibition once this assignment was done. Kings from the neighbouring kingdom could also be invited for the exhibition. It would make such a great event for their kingdom. He diligently collected the flowers samples and waited for the meeting with the king.

The second minister set off to search for thorns. He looked up every nook and corner of the kingdom,for thorns of different kinds - long / short /sharp /blunt. The minister was terrified to see so many thorns in the kingdom. He also thought of discussing it with the king, how to get rid of the thorns as they posed a huge hazard to the people in the kingdom.

Finally the sample collection week ended and the King called a meeting of the council of ministers and invited these two ministers to share their observations with others. The first minister was all praises and said how beautiful the kingdom was because of the flowers. The second minister shared his horror about the huge number of thorns in the kingdom and the grave risk they posed to the people at large.

The king then asked his council, happy how was it possible that two people had contrary views about the same place for an exercise done at the same. The because council of ministers were quiet as they could not think of a possible explanation for what had happened.

Then the king explained, both the ministers were right in their observations, what was different was their approach - what they were seeking. They each found exactly what he was looking for, happy ignoring other things.

It's the same wit us. If we spend out time and energy in looking for negative things in our life or excuses to avoid work, we will find a lot of them. On the other hand if we look for reasons to be positive and do good work, we will find ample reasons.

Coffee and coffee mugs

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about 'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups (Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand, the professor said:-

If U noticed-all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up, leavng-behind the ordinary ones. Everyone of U wanted The Best CUPS, & that is the source of Ur STRESS & TENSION.

What U really wanted was "Coffee", not the "Cup", But U still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee, Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc  are the Cups.

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Pls Don't Let the CUPS Drive U.

Enjoy the COFFEE..

Y ON EARTH NOT - Yashodhara Lal's Blog: HIghlights from Dr. Ravindran's Parenting Workshop...

interesting post i came across on parenting. the best part is most of the points discussed can be adopted so easily and are so logically reasoned.





Y ON EARTH NOT - Yashodhara Lal's Blog: HIghlights from Dr. Ravindran's Parenting Workshop...: Last Saturday, we had a workshop on Parenting at the children's school. The first reaction when you hear that you've got to spend...

Interesting thought

A good life is when you
assume nothing,
do more,
need less,
smile often,
dream big,
laugh alot
and realize how blessed we are!! 

wayfarers

Wayfarers seem to be THE latest trend in sunglasses. Extremely retro in designs and feel, they are back in fashion across nations, popularized by the likes of Robert Pattinson in Twilight series, Pop icon Katy Perry and Bruno Mars. Our very own Bollywood stars like Ranbir Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham have been seen sporting wayfarers in some the recent movies.

Unisex in styling, it is popular among men and women of all ages and even among kids. Innovating light weight materials like acetate, injected plastics, acrylic etc make it possible to experiment with a host of colours – from bright reds to florescent greens, wayfarers are now available in a wide pallet of colours and finishes. Wayfarers go very well with a wide range of lens colors, there by making it more popular among the fashion conscious.

It is definitely a ‘must have’ for those who want to keep up with the latest in fashion.   

Lenskart has got a really cool collection of Wayfarers. Their interesting ads keep popping up on and off on the internet. Must admit, the ads are really tempting and the wide range of designs and incredible offers make it difficult to resist. Had I not picked up a pair of sunglasses recently, I would have surely picked up a wayfarer by now. But I am pretty sure, I’m going to succumb to the temptation in the near future ;) 

Parenting Tips Forwards.

Got the following message forwarded to me. Found them to be interesting and practical.

The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.

1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)

Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.

2 - Use Action, Not Words

Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.

3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful

If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.

4 - Use Natural Consequences

Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.

5 - Use Logical Consequences : 
A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if youmm return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.

6 - Withdraw from Conflict

If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.

7 - Separate the Deed from the Doer

Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him.

8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time:

Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?

9 - Parent with the End in Mind:
Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.

10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through:
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

Tell Me Why...

Tell me why, why do we need to have an opinion about anything under the sun.

Whether or not, it matters to us; whether or not we have accurate information about it, we still have a strong urge to have an opinion about it.

Tell me why people find it difficult to differentiate between opinion and facts. They treat opinions as fact and debate over them, trying to influence opinion of others.

Tell me why am I supposed to have an opinion about anything under the sun,  when I don't want to and I don't need to have one.