Commencement Lectures

was looking up for randy pausch's last lecture. 
was reviewing some thing i had written and came across the phrase 'playing the hand we have been dealt'. i remember picking up the phrase from that lecture. and youtube suggested me with many more such speeches. some which i had seen earlier, some new for me. 

here are a few of them.
the last lecture - randy pausch - 

stay hungry stay foolish - Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 - 

Jim Carrey's Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation - 

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement 2008 - 

Oprah Winfrey Commencement - Harvard University, 2013 - 

Ellen DeGeneres University Commencement Address 2009 - 

Bill and Melinda Gates' 2014 Stanford Commencement Address - 

Meryl Streep, Barnard Commencement Speaker 2010, Columbia University - 

marriage and swimming

the other day, i was having a desultory conversation with a friend. out of the blue she asked if i had learnt how to swim. i replied in negative, and added that would love to learn swimming some day.

then she joined the dots to a previous discussion about matrimony we had, earlier during the course of our conversation. somehow she felt that preparing your self mentally to get married was akin to that phase of learning how to swim, when you would would be left all alone at the 3 ft deep end of the pool, to learn swimming on your own.
- you feel all alone, even though u have people all around the pool.
- it feels like you are going to drown for sure, even though the pool is barely 3 feet deep. our fears and apprehension about not being able to assimilate the changes of married life and surmount the hope of succeeding at it.

i appreciated her for her close observation skills. the situations did seem fairly analogous.

later on, when i was thinking about it, i thought, may be the solution to the situation was present in the situation itself. #ThatWasMeta
- you are not alone, your spouse is the coach standing at the edge of the pool; motivating you, cheering you, ready to jump in and help if at all things go out of hand.
- you are not going to drown. just keep you cool and think. the pool is barely 3 feet deep and you just need to stand on you feet to save your self. simple fact that several issues we face in our relationships can be sorted out easily if we sit down and talk & listen in equal measures. talk it out with your spouse or maybe family or maybe good friends if you think the situation is beyond you. the bottomline is - don't panic #HHGG

not meaning to say that this is a sure fix for all problems. but yes we can succeed if we try; if we seek, we shall find. 

Flowers and thorns

This anecdote was shared by our parish priest and I just loved it.

Once a king beckoned two of his ministers. He asked one of them to get samples of all possible kinds of flowers that grew in his kingdom. He asked the second minister to get all possible samples of thorns that could be found in the kingdom. And both of them had a week's time to do so. The ministers set off for the task assigned pronto.

For the next one week, all the first minister could see was flowers... Beautiful flowers in a wide pallet of colours. He was overjoyed to see so many beautiful flowers all in the same kingdom. He thought of organizing an exhibition once this assignment was done. Kings from the neighbouring kingdom could also be invited for the exhibition. It would make such a great event for their kingdom. He diligently collected the flowers samples and waited for the meeting with the king.

The second minister set off to search for thorns. He looked up every nook and corner of the kingdom,for thorns of different kinds - long / short /sharp /blunt. The minister was terrified to see so many thorns in the kingdom. He also thought of discussing it with the king, how to get rid of the thorns as they posed a huge hazard to the people in the kingdom.

Finally the sample collection week ended and the King called a meeting of the council of ministers and invited these two ministers to share their observations with others. The first minister was all praises and said how beautiful the kingdom was because of the flowers. The second minister shared his horror about the huge number of thorns in the kingdom and the grave risk they posed to the people at large.

The king then asked his council, happy how was it possible that two people had contrary views about the same place for an exercise done at the same. The because council of ministers were quiet as they could not think of a possible explanation for what had happened.

Then the king explained, both the ministers were right in their observations, what was different was their approach - what they were seeking. They each found exactly what he was looking for, happy ignoring other things.

It's the same wit us. If we spend out time and energy in looking for negative things in our life or excuses to avoid work, we will find a lot of them. On the other hand if we look for reasons to be positive and do good work, we will find ample reasons.