life lessons

Advice from an 80 year old man.
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair

9 Phrases Smart People Never Use in Conversation

from the good men project - 

“You look tired.” - “Is everything okay?”

“Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!” - “You look fantastic.”

 “You were too good for her anyway.” - “Her loss!”

“You always …” or “You never …” - “It seems like you do this often.” or “You do this often enough for me to notice.” -

“You look great for your age.” - “You look great.”

“As I said before …” –

“Good luck.”- “I know you have what it takes.”

“It’s up to you.” or “Whatever you want.” - “I don’t have a strong opinion either way, but a couple things to consider are …” –

“Well at least I’ve never ___.” - “I’m sorry.”

Let it go...

Another interesting forwarded message. Not much clue about its origin.

My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth.
When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was?
Probably a hundred times a day.
Just because it was not hurting you doesn’t mean you did not notice it.
It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly.
It’s going to take a while, but it takes time.
Should you have kept the tooth?
No, because it was causing you so much pain.

Therefore, move on and let go.

three kinds of givers

there are three kinds of givers, people who helps others in some way or the others

1. the flint stones - people whose hearts are as hard as stone. they do help (give out spark, to light a fire) but you need to strike them real hard. you need to motivate them to a great extent to reach out to others and help

2. the sponge - people who are otherwise not willing to help but all it needs is a little gentle effort for them to yield. the way a sponge works, a little squeezing and it releases all the water it had absorbed.

3. honeycomb - the people who are more than willing to help others, the way honey oozes out of a honeycomb. involuntarily. 

Comes the Dawn by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.

a short love story

Him: Lets play "Riddle me this". I'll ask the questions and you answer.
Her: ummm..ok..lets try

Him: Riddle #1: What has roots as nobody sees,Is taller than trees, Up, up it goes,And yet never grows?
Her: Oh I know this one..its..its..a mountain

Him: Correct. Riddle #2: Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters.
Her: rain..but no..not wingless or toothless...tears..no....i got it..wind

Him: Correct again..smart girl. Riddle #3: It cannot be seen, cannot be felt, Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt. It lies behind stars and under hills, And empty holes it fills. It comes out first and follows after, Ends life, kills laughter.
Her: Hey...I see the patter now.. these are the Hobbit-Gollum riddles...
Him: Oh! you finally figured it out...but play along.. you'll love the twist at the end.
Her: The answer is darkness.

Him: Attagirl!! Right Answer. Riddle #4: Alive without breath, As cold as death; Never thirsty, ever drinking, All in mail never clinking.
Her: Oh I knew this one..what was it..what was it... fish..yes..fish it is.

Him: Lovely. Ok so Riddle #5: This thing all things devours; Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel;Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town, And beats mountain down.
Her: This is getting tough..how many more to go?
Him: Just a couple more, we are almost there...(give her a peck on her forehead) .So... the answer would be...
Her: wait...lemme try and remember this one.. it was...Time..yes Time it was.

Him: That's fabulous.. all correct answers. One last question. What have I got in my pocket
Her: Gollum could not answer this one.. it was The Ring

Him: Yeah but you guessed it and now its yours..(he goes down one one knee and presents her a ring) Will you marrry me?
Her: (She hugs him hard) you are my real 'My Precious'....

Commencement Lectures

was looking up for randy pausch's last lecture. 
was reviewing some thing i had written and came across the phrase 'playing the hand we have been dealt'. i remember picking up the phrase from that lecture. and youtube suggested me with many more such speeches. some which i had seen earlier, some new for me. 

here are a few of them.
the last lecture - randy pausch - 

stay hungry stay foolish - Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005 - 

Jim Carrey's Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation - 

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement 2008 - 

Oprah Winfrey Commencement - Harvard University, 2013 - 

Ellen DeGeneres University Commencement Address 2009 - 

Bill and Melinda Gates' 2014 Stanford Commencement Address - 

Meryl Streep, Barnard Commencement Speaker 2010, Columbia University - 

marriage and swimming

the other day, i was having a desultory conversation with a friend. out of the blue she asked if i had learnt how to swim. i replied in negative, and added that would love to learn swimming some day.

then she joined the dots to a previous discussion about matrimony we had, earlier during the course of our conversation. somehow she felt that preparing your self mentally to get married was akin to that phase of learning how to swim, when you would would be left all alone at the 3 ft deep end of the pool, to learn swimming on your own.
- you feel all alone, even though u have people all around the pool.
- it feels like you are going to drown for sure, even though the pool is barely 3 feet deep. our fears and apprehension about not being able to assimilate the changes of married life and surmount the hope of succeeding at it.

i appreciated her for her close observation skills. the situations did seem fairly analogous.

later on, when i was thinking about it, i thought, may be the solution to the situation was present in the situation itself. #ThatWasMeta
- you are not alone, your spouse is the coach standing at the edge of the pool; motivating you, cheering you, ready to jump in and help if at all things go out of hand.
- you are not going to drown. just keep you cool and think. the pool is barely 3 feet deep and you just need to stand on you feet to save your self. simple fact that several issues we face in our relationships can be sorted out easily if we sit down and talk & listen in equal measures. talk it out with your spouse or maybe family or maybe good friends if you think the situation is beyond you. the bottomline is - don't panic #HHGG

not meaning to say that this is a sure fix for all problems. but yes we can succeed if we try; if we seek, we shall find. 

Flowers and thorns

This anecdote was shared by our parish priest and I just loved it.

Once a king beckoned two of his ministers. He asked one of them to get samples of all possible kinds of flowers that grew in his kingdom. He asked the second minister to get all possible samples of thorns that could be found in the kingdom. And both of them had a week's time to do so. The ministers set off for the task assigned pronto.

For the next one week, all the first minister could see was flowers... Beautiful flowers in a wide pallet of colours. He was overjoyed to see so many beautiful flowers all in the same kingdom. He thought of organizing an exhibition once this assignment was done. Kings from the neighbouring kingdom could also be invited for the exhibition. It would make such a great event for their kingdom. He diligently collected the flowers samples and waited for the meeting with the king.

The second minister set off to search for thorns. He looked up every nook and corner of the kingdom,for thorns of different kinds - long / short /sharp /blunt. The minister was terrified to see so many thorns in the kingdom. He also thought of discussing it with the king, how to get rid of the thorns as they posed a huge hazard to the people in the kingdom.

Finally the sample collection week ended and the King called a meeting of the council of ministers and invited these two ministers to share their observations with others. The first minister was all praises and said how beautiful the kingdom was because of the flowers. The second minister shared his horror about the huge number of thorns in the kingdom and the grave risk they posed to the people at large.

The king then asked his council, happy how was it possible that two people had contrary views about the same place for an exercise done at the same. The because council of ministers were quiet as they could not think of a possible explanation for what had happened.

Then the king explained, both the ministers were right in their observations, what was different was their approach - what they were seeking. They each found exactly what he was looking for, happy ignoring other things.

It's the same wit us. If we spend out time and energy in looking for negative things in our life or excuses to avoid work, we will find a lot of them. On the other hand if we look for reasons to be positive and do good work, we will find ample reasons.

Coffee and coffee mugs

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about 'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups (Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand, the professor said:-

If U noticed-all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up, leavng-behind the ordinary ones. Everyone of U wanted The Best CUPS, & that is the source of Ur STRESS & TENSION.

What U really wanted was "Coffee", not the "Cup", But U still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee, Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc  are the Cups.

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Pls Don't Let the CUPS Drive U.

Enjoy the COFFEE..

Y ON EARTH NOT - Yashodhara Lal's Blog: HIghlights from Dr. Ravindran's Parenting Workshop...

interesting post i came across on parenting. the best part is most of the points discussed can be adopted so easily and are so logically reasoned.





Y ON EARTH NOT - Yashodhara Lal's Blog: HIghlights from Dr. Ravindran's Parenting Workshop...: Last Saturday, we had a workshop on Parenting at the children's school. The first reaction when you hear that you've got to spend...

Interesting thought

A good life is when you
assume nothing,
do more,
need less,
smile often,
dream big,
laugh alot
and realize how blessed we are!! 

wayfarers

Wayfarers seem to be THE latest trend in sunglasses. Extremely retro in designs and feel, they are back in fashion across nations, popularized by the likes of Robert Pattinson in Twilight series, Pop icon Katy Perry and Bruno Mars. Our very own Bollywood stars like Ranbir Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham have been seen sporting wayfarers in some the recent movies.

Unisex in styling, it is popular among men and women of all ages and even among kids. Innovating light weight materials like acetate, injected plastics, acrylic etc make it possible to experiment with a host of colours – from bright reds to florescent greens, wayfarers are now available in a wide pallet of colours and finishes. Wayfarers go very well with a wide range of lens colors, there by making it more popular among the fashion conscious.

It is definitely a ‘must have’ for those who want to keep up with the latest in fashion.   

Lenskart has got a really cool collection of Wayfarers. Their interesting ads keep popping up on and off on the internet. Must admit, the ads are really tempting and the wide range of designs and incredible offers make it difficult to resist. Had I not picked up a pair of sunglasses recently, I would have surely picked up a wayfarer by now. But I am pretty sure, I’m going to succumb to the temptation in the near future ;) 

Parenting Tips Forwards.

Got the following message forwarded to me. Found them to be interesting and practical.

The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.

1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)

Your child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored.

2 - Use Action, Not Words

Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.

3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful

If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.

4 - Use Natural Consequences

Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.

5 - Use Logical Consequences : 
A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if youmm return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.

6 - Withdraw from Conflict

If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to "Try again." Do not leave in anger or defeat.

7 - Separate the Deed from the Doer

Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn't that you don't like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him.

8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time:

Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn't dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?

9 - Parent with the End in Mind:
Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.

10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through:
If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

Tell Me Why...

Tell me why, why do we need to have an opinion about anything under the sun.

Whether or not, it matters to us; whether or not we have accurate information about it, we still have a strong urge to have an opinion about it.

Tell me why people find it difficult to differentiate between opinion and facts. They treat opinions as fact and debate over them, trying to influence opinion of others.

Tell me why am I supposed to have an opinion about anything under the sun,  when I don't want to and I don't need to have one.

Felt like an absolute ass!

Felt like an absolute ass, thrice in less than 24 hours.

This must be a new fucking low in my life.

:|

life hacks

Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it's all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

21 Things You Should Force Yourself To Do Every Day

21 Things You Should Force Yourself To Do Every Day

by Chelsea Fagan

an interesting read.

frormula one race @ budh international circuit

finally i was able to make it to the f1 race in  india, in the third year of the race!!

i am not an f1 fan. it was more like ticking an item off a mental to do list: see an f1 race in life once - check
india is not on the race calender for 2014 and it was uncertain when it would be back. so i could not miss the opportunity this year.

i had booked one ticket for the f1 race, hoping that i wold be able to make it for the race day, but somewhere at the back of my mind i had feeling that it was not going to materialize.but still i thought of giving it a shot and booked a north picnic stand for a grand and a half, the cheapest available ticket.

my cousin came to know of my plan and invited me for a stay-over at her place.logistically it was a good idea. more so, coz my camera conked off on race day and they could provide me a spare camera. her husband also decided to join me. but we were not sure about the tickets as north picnic stand was sold out. but he agreed to drop me to the track an check in case something could be done about the tickets.

we started with our journey to the race track in their new ford ecosport. beautiful car and smooth drive. there was a lot of traffic heading to the track and it took us some time. people were driving as if they were going to participate in the f1 race instead of being spectators. we tired to follow the road signs and finally made it to the unreserved parking. we parked our vehicle and walked to the ticket counter.

we checked at the counter, there were only 3-4 people in the queue to buy tickets. a poster along the ticket window showed the availability status of tickets. north picnic stand was sold out. the only other picnic stand available was south picnic stand, which left us with following options:

• we buy a south picnic stand for bhaiyya and both of us was the  race from different locations - not desirable 
• bhaiyya goes back home and i stay back to watch the race - definitely not desirable, we were way beyond the point-of-no-return.
• i buy forfeit my original ticket and buy a new ticket for south picnic stand - expensive but doable and bhaiyya would surely protest at the extra expense i would have to incur.
• we buy ticket in black from the touts - 'morally' wrong, was not sure how bhaiyya would react to it. 
• some miracle could happen - least possible

i was mentally working on the feasibility of the alternatives, when by stroke of luck i over heard the telephone conversation of the guy ahead of us in the ticket line. he was in the exact same situation like us. had booked a north picnic stand and now had purchased a ticket for south picnic stand. he was dejectedly explaining the situation to his friend, how they would have to see the race from different locations, over phone. without wasting a moment, i offered him my north stand ticked in exchange for his south stand ticket which he had just purchased. for him, i was a blessing in disguise and for me, he was the blessing. we happily exchanged our tickets and contact  numbers just in case something went wrong.

we purchased another ticket for south picnic stand, we could not contain our joy and were giggling like crazy at how things got aligned and we could see the race together. we thanked god, clicked a celebratory pic and moved toward the track.

the track is HUGE. we took the shuttle and proceeded to our spot. the race had already started. the roar of the mighty speed monsters was good enough to give goosebumps. at times the roar of the car could easily drown out the whir of the low flying helicopter being used for the aerial shots. the helicopter was another amazing thing, the pilot was flying it like crazy.

must admit, race from the stand was like seeing only a part of a huge puzzle. followed most of the race on the giant screen. the spot we got was good, had a u-turn and  we could see good part of the track.

we clicked some customary pics. photo toh bannta tha boss!

the food stuff being sold at the venue was exorbitantly priced and food from outside was not allowed as per the ticket.

the race got over in about an hour and a half. sebastian vettle won at the budh international circuit for the third consecutive time.

it was time to head back to the car. the shuttle buses were all over full and we took a long walk to the parking lot. traffic was even crazier while going back. i guess we lost our way but somehow the service lane we took helped us to avoid a lot of traffic. bhaiyya dropped me at the metro station.

was a overall a good experience. the best part being how we got the tickets ;)

yaad shehar with neelesh misra live @ ihc

yesterday, i attended live story narration session by neelesh misra. it has been organized as a part of some indian languages festival by ihc.

i have generally liked the story narrations by neelsh misra which aired on radio and tried to catchup whenever possible. there is something about his voice, that paints a vivid visual picture of what is being narrated. and somehow, most of the times, i think i visualize myself as the protagonist. maybe that's the reason why i like to listen to his stories.

the stories he narrated were 'diwali ki woh raat' and 'che phere', these were among his first stories that were aired. the stories were intertwined with songs which had been written by him. his 2 men orchestra and singer accomplice did a marvelous job.

at times i feel that some of his stories end abruptly, right when the interest in it was at the zenith - sort of open ended stories, free to be interpreted by the listener. somehow i do not like such open ended stories - be it a book or a movie. my logical brain has a liking for what is definite and with finite outcomes.

was getting late so could attend only two story narrations. was an impromptu decision to attend the event but i fully cherished the time i spent at the story telling session.